Why I write about love even if I don’t feel it

I started writing since I was 11 or 12 years old, I write articles, notes, poems and small stories. I started writing in Arabic and during my high school years I switched completely to English. It has been almost 10 years that I write frequently and I stop writing rarely and that happens when I lack completely of inspiration. During these 10 years, I won two prizes for my Arabic poems and got the recognition of anyone who read my writings: teachers, friends, family, writers…

During these 10 years, 75% of what I write was about love even if I almost don’t have feeling, and I've never loved once in my entire existence. So here are five reasons why I write about love even if I don’t feel it:

•           It is beautiful: You have to admit that everyone loves love and think it is cute to love and to be loved and some wise man once said: “Talk to people in their own language”. The notes I write about my life, my troubles, my mistakes and what I endure every day I leave them for me. When I share something with people I have to make sure they like it and may actually care about it. So I write about love because it is beautiful, it is amazing and it interests people.
•           It is good to lie sometimes: We are sick of our reality, sick of the stupidity of people, of the endless problems and the strange things that happen every day. So yes, writing is my shelter, I run to it every time I am fed up with this life and the reality of things, and what’s the use of running from life to writing if you’re going to write about life and about the reality? So I don’t write about life, I prefer to escape and go deep into my imagination and I write about things that never happened, a love that I've never felt, a lover that I've never met and stuff that I've never witnessed. It’s good to lie sometimes it sets you free, it gives you the opportunity to live in ideal worlds better than the one we live in.
•           Being wanted instead of being seen as a play boy: Yes, I do have the reputation of a player, which, if you ask me, has nothing to do with the truth. I stopped being the play boy and heart breaker years ago. I am now a gentleman. However, it seems that you can never escape your past no matter how hard you try and change, so people still see me as a player and that’s unfortunate because I am a good guy now. So I write about love and feelings. I sound really in love and full of emotions, I almost look heartbroken and on the edge of giving up life because of a lost love and sometimes being able to sacrifice my existence for the happiness of the loved one. All of this makes me the total opposite of the heartless douche bag, they think I am. It makes me look romantic and sensitive. It makes me look like the guy who treats a girl he loves like a princess, the guy who knows how to love a Lady, how to respect a queen and worship a goddess. So girls think that I have a lucky lover and they envy her for all the things I write about and for her and all the love I have for her and that doesn't only make wanted among girls, it also makes me a challenge.
•           Lack of emotions: It may seem so not true to you but in my life I don’t have too many emotions. I am not an emotional guy, it is rare for me to feel happy or glad or excited and it is impossible for me to feel love. The only kind of emotions I get is the bad ones, it happens that I feel mad, angry, fed up and bored and it is rare for me to feel sad. However, even this kind of emotions doesn't happen often. So whenever I get any of them I focus on it and turn it into something good so even when I am angry, bored or even sad I turn this feeling into a beautiful thing and instead of writing about dark stuff I write about cute stuff that people like, so I write about Love.
•           Something is missing: It is obvious after all that you read in this note so far that love is missing in my life. Hell, it is the only thing that I haven’t experienced yet. I’ve never felt it and don’t think I will be feeling it ever, at least not soon. So yes, I write about the thing I never experienced. Don’t we all think too much about the things we don’t have and imagine how would our lives be if we had them? Yes we do, and that’s why I write a lot about love, in order to imagine it and imagine what would I do and how would the life be if I had it. I write about love because I love imagination, and it wouldn't be imagining things if I wrote about something I do have. I write about love because it is good to lie as long as you are not hurting anyone. I write about love because as long as I don’t feel it, I have nowhere else to live it but within my writings.

It may seem a lie to some of you and it may seem pathetic to the others but it is only the truth to me. I write about love because I like to and because I enjoy it and if you think that everything I told in my other notes is nothing but a lie I have to tell you that it is not because I am sure I will be doing and feeling the same things I wrote about and even more once I meet the girl that will make me finally fall in love. I just haven’t found her yet, maybe I met her already but haven’t discovered her yet.

                                                                              With any kind of emotions I may get.

                                                                                                   W.H